Confessions of a White Man: The Cult of Whiteness and Weaponized Psychology

Truth telling white man, hell-bent on waking the world.

I remember one of the first times I realized the uncomfortable truth of my own urge to seek comfort over confrontation, and how my whiteness had taught me to shut down my own feelings and dissociate from my body, rather than feel through the fire with someone else. I’m married to a Black woman, and as a white man I was raised to believe (subconsciously) that niceness is a virtue, and that confrontation is always aggression, rather than a struggle for unity.

My wife and I rarely disagree, but on a couple occasions the disagreement has been deep and passionate. As soon as the passion rose, my whiteness had me disembodying and pulling out of the conversation. This subconscious reaction happened for a number of different reasons (ex: I wouldn’t be heard (trauma response); if I respond with equal passion, I’ll be seen as aggressive, mean, or verbally abusive (trauma response), etc.). But none of the reasons I was withdrawing my passion were actually rooted in truth, just trauma. And my subconscious reaction was actually not what my wife wanted from me in the moment.

Since then, I have learned that Black people invest in confrontation because it is a demonstration of love, care and willingness to be uncomfortable together in order to reach a deeper understanding, and thus a greater bond. Black people value struggle, because struggle is investment in relationships. And true investment in relationships means that you cannot pretend to be nice all the time, especially not at the expense of truth and understanding.

You see, the cult of whiteness is clever. It doesn’t just sedate us with comfort; it arms us with just enough psychology to shield ourselves from truth.

How?

By weaponizing words like trauma, survival, nuance and complexity to deflect systemic critique away from accountability. Instead of freeing us, this language becomes another sedative, soothing us into believing that to name the system is to shame the individual.

What Is the Cult of Whiteness?

Scholars and activists have called whiteness a cult — a system of devotion, worship, and adherence grounded in historical and structural power, not just personal belief. Joseph M. Pierce writes, “whiteness draws adherents with the promise of salvation, understood through capitalist comfort and future gain…enduring through the legacy of accumulated wealth and power.” This cult-like system took root alongside colonial expansion, the rise of messianic Christianity, and the birth of modern capitalism, justifying slavery and division, promising purity and order while delivering violence and exclusion.

Before the 17th century, the category of “white” didn’t exist. It was weaponized, first to divide poor Europeans from enslaved Africans, then to justify the transatlantic slave trade, and then to center itself through laws, institutions, and customs. The religion of whiteness became a mechanism for securing and maintaining power, all the while shaping social, economic, and psychological landscapes for generations.

Weaponized Psychology Shields Against Accountability

Here’s the trap: whiteness convinces us that our survivorship or victimhood makes us immune from complicity. But the truth is much harder, and deeper than that: it is possible to be both a victim of the system AND an accessory to it.

This is how whiteness holds proximity to power. It tells us:

“Don’t look at the machinery, protect your feelings.”

“Don’t question the system, protect your identity.”

And so…the loop continues.

Consider how psychology and therapeutic language are deployed:

- Trauma gets used to sidestep discussions about privilege or systemic harm.

- “Nuance” becomes a call to pause difficult conversations or dilute activism.

- The impulse is always toward soothing and comfort, not confrontation or collective accountability.

In effect, the system encourages us to retreat from uncomfortable truths, prioritizing individual safety over systemic transformation. This is why most movements of change and equal rights have failed to scale. Work has been done, and progress has absolutely been made, yet the system remains unchanged.

Why? Because white people avoid confronting the truth.

So, what is that truth?

The truth is simple: in order to survive a predatory system, all of us have made choices that bring us shame. And while our choices are one hundred percent ours to own, when we are subconsciously looping through patterns of ego preservation and amygdala dominance, we aren’t fully awake. That is the design.

But here’s the thing: we all came here to awaken. And awakening is not about shame. The shame of being the victim of a predatory system is never ours to carry. But the responsibility to see that system, and to change it, is. Especially as the least oppressed group of people.

Awakening is about consciousness: the courage to see yourself seeing the truth of reality as it is, rather than as you wish it to be. To notice the algorithm looping beneath your choices. To name whiteness as the system that sedates, even when it claims to protect.

True change requires discomfort. It requires the willingness to see not just our feelings, but the programming, and the machinery, behind them. It calls for moving beyond identity protection and toward system-level accountability. As theorists have noted, whiteness as a system adapts, always shifting to protect its own advantages by sedating its adherents with reassurance, not action.

Breaking the Spell: Holding Both Truths

The cult of whiteness will use comfort, psychology, even survivorship itself as shields against accountability. But breaking the spell means holding both truths: honoring survival AND refusing to let survival be weaponized to protect the very system that caused the need for it in the first place.

Facing this loop is a lifelong practice. It means ongoing self-inquiry, honest acknowledgement of complicity, and a refusal to hide behind comforting language. It means supporting change through action, not just feelings or ‘thoughts and prayers.’

Reflect, Act, and Build a Different Future

We need not choose between shame or silence. Instead, we can practice courage. We can lean into the willingness to name systems, challenge their logic, and co-create futures rooted in accountability and collective care for everyone.

If whiteness sedates with comfort, awakening means discomfort: the willingness to challenge, change, and co-create a future beyond the cult.

So I ask: how long until you choose to wake up?

#ConfessionsOfAWhiteMan

For Further Reading:

Kochman Mavrelis: CWM and African American Communication Styles: AfricanAmerican_CommunicationStyle_v1

Whiteness is a cult, by Joseph M. Pierce: https://josephmpierce.substack.com/p/whiteness-is-a-cult

On Critical Race Theory: https://www.annualreviews.org/content/journals/10.1146/annurev-soc-031021-123710

The Cult of Whiteness — How a 17th Century Idea Shaped Modern History: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zu-7Y68sDXE

Opinion — The Religion of Whiteness Becomes a Suicide Cult https://www.nytimes.com/2018/08/30/opinion/race-politics-whiteness.html

Why White Students Need Multicultural and Social Justice Education https://www.cultofpedagogy.com/white-students-multicultural-ed/